I forgot I had biceps

But my body is every so effectively reminding me today! I have been using the weight machines and free weights at the gym. Last night I got really brave and ventured to the back of the gym with the free weights. You have to understand, I am not afraid of much. However, lifting weights on my own, not in a class or with someone else, is very intimidating to me. I have been forcing myself to do it though. The gym I belong to is filled with loads of young, well defined men and women. Here comes dumpy ol' me. I sit down at a machine and need to change the weight from 7 hundred mega million pounds to 20. I am using the 10 pound free weight while the sweet young thing next to me is using the 20 lb. {sigh} No, it's not a competition and I am only there to better myself but noone wants to embarrass themselves. In the gym I am very insecure and feel like a fish out of water. To top it off, I sweat. No sweet, demure sexy droplets are glistening on my forehead. I sweat like a trooper. To maintain some modicum of dignity, I have to wear a headband (nobody seems to wear headbands anymore!)and I have to plan what shirt to wear or else risk embarrassment as I sweat through it. ( I made a mistake one day and wore a thinner cotton shirt......not a pretty site! I actually needed to quit sooner than I'd wanted because I was dangerously close to looking like I was in a wet t-shirt contest. Not a pretty site on an overweight, over 40 woman surrounded by many "sweet young things.")

But sometimes it's just plain funny. I have to laugh at myself and those around me. There is this step machine. It is not one I've seen before as it is real steps that rotate and you "walk up" them. Here's me on level one...step..............step............step............step. Here's the sweet young thing next to me, who by the way, not only doesn't sweat but doesn't even perspire as she adjusts her shorts ever lower on her hips and rolls her shirt ever tighter under her breasts. She is on some mega level and goes STEP, STEP,STEP,STEP.... As I step.........step.....and huff and puff, and SWEAT, she STEP,STEPS, talks on her cell phone, watches the tv and continues to adjusts and readjust her shorts while every so often glancing over at me and to be sure I am still alive! I just want to knock her off her machine and tell her that she too will be my age some day! Ya just have to laugh at it. I don't know which one of us is funnier.

I'm finding though that the more I go outside my comfort zone, the less uncomfortable it is to be outside of my comfort zone. I felt like I'd climbed a mountain last night simply because I ventured to the free weight area and actually did something. The heck with the rest of them, I climbed a mountain. It's a great feeling to test yourself and find you can overcome silly little insecurities. I'd like to see one of those sweet young things in my world facing 12 2 year olds screaming for their mommy all at the same time! Ha!