Thursday, January 07, 2010

New Algebraic Formula

****In true brainiac form, I posted this and the formula didn't come out right. I fixed it now. Plus I had additional examples I forgot to post.


I have discovered that there is a direct relationship between the lightening of my hair and the number of brain cells I have available for use during quilting. My hair color is never the same twice. Miss Clariol and I have a great relationship! My hairdresser makes my color look fabulous! Unfortunately, she doesn't realize that all of those beautiful colors she adds to my hair, cause damage in the quilting room!

Example 1 -I go to the store to buy dark homespuns; specifically 12 inches, 1/3 yd ,of about 5 different fabrics. 1/3 yd will make a perfect amount of strips. No leftovers. No waste, no additional stash. I get to the cutting table, talking all the way, and ask the woman to "cut 12 inches, NO 1/2 yd., no 1/3 yd., no, 1/2 yd. Yeah that's it! I need 1/3." The woman proceeds to cut my fabrics, one layer at a time as she is cutting plaids. She gets half way through and I, still talking, realize, NO I NEED 1/2 yard! Exasperated, the clerk waits on two other poor souls waiting this entire time, and then cuts my additional 6". Whew I think.! I dodged a bullet there. I'd have been SOOO mad had I gotten home and discovered I was 6" short. Except, I got home and discovered that all that extra agony was for nothing!!! I DIDN'T NEED IT! I SET OUT FOR 1/3 YD AND TALKED MYSELF INTO 1/2 YD! This isn't the biggest deal in the world but I am trying to USE up all of my homespuns NOT add to them!!!

Example 2-I have been cutting fabric like a mad woman. I've decided to add one and perhaps two rows to my triangle quilt. That little addition involves cutting a barnload of triangles. To reduce my boredom, I decided to cut (whaaa?????) a novelty quilt....it will be 8" squares and 4 patches. Now, I'm really in the cutting mode. Cut 6" strips....cut triangle. Cut 6" strips cut triangles. Cut 4" strip, cut squares. Cut 4" strip, cut squares...cut 6"strip, cut triangles......This morning I decided to begin sewing the novelty quilt and I have....I have.....squares! Not looong strips so I can whip this puppy out, but squares! Lots of squares! What the heck????I wanted this thing to be FAST. Now I know that it will still work with squares but good grief!!!!

Example 3 - I use liquid starch. I sprayed all of my homespuns until they were wet, very wet....and my phone...and my iron, and my carpet and my .... There is dried starch EVERYWHERE! I could have just dipped the fabric in starch. But did I? NO!!!!

Example 4 - Cut a 6" strip to make the triangle. Cut a 6" strip to make the triangle. Cut a 6" strip to make the triangle. Cut a 6" strip to make the triangle. Cut a 5 1/2" strip! Cut a 6" strip to make the triangle. Are you kidding me???????

So this morning I came up with the following equation. Unfortunately, it works every time!


work needing finished
relative lightness of hair

X

time alloted to finish a project = the brainiac quotient!

UH!

2 comments:

Vicki W said...

ROFLOL!

Diane said...

Oh my, that sounds like what happens in my sewing room.
I haven't met Miss Clairol, so what does that mean? LOL

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