Sunday, November 19, 2006

Just can't hide

My girls think it is H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S that I have a blog. I wouldn't give DD#1 my address so smarty pants SIL decided to look for it. It took him all of 10 minutes! (yeah, yeah, you two can stop rolling around with laughter anytime now).

So here is my question, when did I get old? I mean, I remember thinking my mom was ancient and out dated and whenever she did something that wasn't, I was surprised. (my mom was only 20 yrs. older than me and I am 21 yrs. older than DD#1). I don't feel different. I feel like I don't look different, although I do. I have been noticing this being older thing alot lately. Some of my school parents are in their late 20's. As a matter of fact, one of my co-teachers has her child in my class. Her parents came in to pick him up and I nearly died. HER PARENTS ARE MY AGE! Well, just a bit older but close enough. I relate to the co-worker as if we are the same age ect and then all of a sudden .....absolute proof!....I am aging. I mean it was really a bolt of lightening moment when I saw her parents. Mostly I've been noticing because my friends are all older than I. My age group here all have little kids. When we moved here 6 yrs. ago, we had absolutely nothing in common with those in our peer group because we had teen agers and they had pre-schoolers. My daughter got married and theirs are being Bar Mitzvah'd. We are in different places in our life. So, I developed friendships with people many years older than me. My girls have been gone for over a year now but it has really become an issue, this empty nest thing. I mean, noone is clamboring for your attention. Music no longer blasts and the door isn't constantly slamming from friends going in and out. I really feel OLD lately. Sorta like I am out of the loop. I don't know.................I've just been really, really bothered by this feeling old, out of the loop and not in the thick of things feeling. The problem comes in that I don't want to start ACTING old. I am about to switch jobs. I will still work with children, just not as their main teacher. I am so afraid that I will be even more out of the loop of things when I don't have those little ones to keep me moving. Don't get me wrong, I love having the freedom to come and go as I wish but...............Maybe the problem with empty nesting is feeling unneeded. I don't, by a long shot, think I'm unneeded but it's different now. I don't have children, I have adults. With their own lives. It's different than being mommy.

Don't know why I had this stream of conciousness typing going but I'm going to end the drivel now. Frozen turkeys are waiting for me to pluck them up and bring them home!

8 comments:

joyce said...

It's funny about ages. We met a couple recently and really hit it off. We hung out with them quite a bit and I knew they were younger than us because they have a 5 year old but didn't think much about it. Then I invited them over to a meal that our three children were also at. Turns out that they are the same age as our oldest sons. Weird. Most of our friends are younger by 10 years or more for some reason. Anyway, age is a mental thing really so who cares.

Sweet P said...

You bring up a lot of good points about being our age. I think both of us are in our early-mid 40s. DH is 12 years younger than I. He is 11 years older than one of my DS and 13 years older than the other one. I am older than his oldest brother.

DH doesn't want more children. Neither do I. His two brothers closest to his age are still having children. We are definitely a unique couple in his family.

I admit though, I love being an empty nester. I have been a parent for 30 years (yes, I was a parent at 14 and DS #1 was killed in an auto accident 10 years ago). I didn't have a normal young adulthood and have been looking forward to being an empty nester.

Didn't mean to ramble. I guess I have some fodder for a blog post.

Jenni @ Fairybread said...

I knew I was getting old when I started driving around in the car with the radio off LOL! Years back the stereo would've nearly blasted the car off the road. I quite like the quiet life, and not having to be rushing around doing things.

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way at times. I'm 43 and almost feel like I had two sets of children, two are 16 and 14 and the little 'surprise' is seven. So I won't have the empty nest thing for quite a few years--if the unthinkable doesn't happen. But I still feel old and over the hill at times. I'ts sort of scary.

Anonymous said...

I those are common feelings - especially with women starting families at different ages, unlike when you mother became a mother - everyone (you know what I mean) in her age group was also having babies, with the advances in medicine & workplace, women can & are having babies later creating the "shift" in ages. (As I turned 30, my biggest fear was that I would be older that all of the other mommies...)

Laurie said...

My oldest are 18 and almost 20, my youngest 11. When the oldest was in school, we were younger than all her friends' parents. I got used to that -- being the youngest. I has been odd with my younger son because now I am the OLDEST. I liked being younger better.

:-)

Mary said...

I guess I feel different - I'm 45 and my boys are 23 and 21 and living on their own - and I love it! It's great to have the freedom to do what I want and to travel with Keith without worrying about kids at home. I have no regrets about having my kids young and close together esp. when I see parents my age with young kids!

Morah said...

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