I am alive...just not kicking too hard

I feel like I dropped off the face of the earth last week.

Camp - Oh why did I say yes to work all summer? This is haard work! I am scrambling every day and run from the time I hit campus until I come home. Then running all night to make sure we have a great tomorrow. The kids are great I just am not comfortable in this new role. Plus I have to have a new "keep them busy, teach them about Israel" thing to do each day. Not my strongest subject but I am plugging along. We did have a good week and the kids are all running around humming the songs we learned.

Sewing - I suggest you refer first to the above paragraph and then to my June goals and then..... LAUGH! Non-existent machine sewing here. I have been working on a hand project but I will go into that another time.

Personal - I really would rather have raging teenage hormones then these "downhill side of 40" hormones. At least the teenage hormones fire you up. These "downhill side of 40" hormones plunge me into a place that I don't like, which unfortunately seems to be more and more often....it's not pretty and light but dark and self depreciating and almost debilitating. I keep fighting but man, it's hard and not fun. It's really difficult to be fun, uplifting and look at the bright side when you have to fight with yourself so hard. At the same time, I 'm tired of complaining and am willing to fight...if only to make this unpleasant side of me go away.....enough of that. (Hey, as long as I'm wishing, I'd might as well add in be rich, beautiful, thin and talented!!! LOL)

Happy news - Ms. A passed her test and is now a Level 1 Certified Deaf Interpreter.....did I mention, with a job!!!! Whooo Hoooo!

My birthday - hmm...another day, another post.

State of our Backsides....and stuff

I vow to keep this report going whether it's good or bad. I also vow to STOP whining. The state of my backside is miserable. There. I said it! I'll keep plugging away and hopefully next week.....I've finally learned that I cycle. I seem to be in a not so positive place right now....If I can just maintain my weight and exercise until I can force myself back into a positive place I will be very happy. I hope that makes sense. My exercise this week was non existent. We had to go to San Antonio Monday night and returned Tuesday. The only exercise there was eating the taboo homemade tortillas! I've been having some health issues (just something I live with and on occassiont keeps me out of the gym) and I've been afraid to go to the gym alone. No panics here....just something I deal with. We did dance on Thursday but that is definately not enough. So once again, boringly, I declare to "do better" next week.

Does anyone else look at there sitemeter stats? Blogline subscriptions? Curiosity makes me look at them. I lost a blogline reader.....sniff, sniff.......I'll just tell myself that they were purging their list and mine mistakenly was deleted....sniff, sniff....It couldn't be that I whine and kvetch my way through my blog could it.....sniff, sniff.....

Expect multiple posts today...I have alot to say!!

Finished! : ) Wish I was Finished! : (

I finished my guild challenge! I made it over sized and then trimmed it down after quilting. I was a bit disappointed because I then lost all the quilting!! The size you ask? 3"X4"! The challenge was to make a finished quilt that fits into a name tag! I lost my tag so I called the organizer of the challenge. She measured the empty tag and told me 3"X4." After I finished the tag, quilted, cut and bound the thing to the exact measurement I found my little plastic name tag thingy. Guess what??!! It IS 3X4 on the outside. In order to fit a quilt inside it needed to be 2 7/8 X 3 7/8. Oh it fits inside the tag but the tag doesn't lie flat.

I figure that the rules never said anything about it needing to be flat. It just needed to be inside the tag! I would love to win!

I wish I were finished with nightmares. I have what I call nightmares. They can happen in the daytime or nighttime. Mostly it's just a thought. It's always the same. It can be so bad that I refuse to go back to sleep. During the day I nearly hyperventilate if the thoughts cross my mind. I'm not going to go into what it is that sets me off into overdrive because this is not the forum. But, I wish I could just sleep at night without waking up so scared and ready to scream! It's the most difficult when DH isn't home and I wake up nearly hysterical. Although I rarely wake him up if he's home, I know he's here. But when I'm alone it is just that much harder to re-gain control. It wakes me up from a perfectly good sleep to haunt me. Usually that's when I get into trouble and eat. If I'm sleeping well, I can lose weight so much faster! So, it's 3:30 and tomorrow (or today), is our end of the year party. I must clean my room and get it almost completely shut down before I leave school, be nice to parents as they will be at the party and have slept 2 hours! Plus I look so lovely after 2 or 3 hours sleep. Fun!

I'm gonna hit publish post and try to sleep just a bit longer. If I can sleep, two more hours can't hurt.

I'm a bum

I have discovered that left to my own devices, I sleep 8 hours a night. No matter what time I go to bed I don't wake up until 8 hours have passed. It is a lucky thing that alarm clocks have been invented. For the last number of nights, I've been unable to sleep. Consequently, I fall asleep around 1 or 2. It is a good thing that I haven't gone to work because 1:30 + 8 hrs. = 9:30 in the morning! What a bum!!! For the last 3 days I have not woken up until at least 9:30! I feel like a crum! Half of the day is gone. Today is the last day of Passover and a holy day. It is a day that you go to synagogue. While you are there you say a special prayer for the dead. Am I there? No. I was sleeping. What a CRUM! I have no choice now, it's too late to get dressed and get there but sheesh. I thought I set my alarm.........

Last night I went to my guild meeting and won a door prize. I'm very excited about it because it is something that I have always been to cheap

to buy. It's a quilting calendar. It's one of those things that are nice to receive as a gift but you can't justify to buy for yourself. It's a silly thing but it makes me happy.